Girls Rule. You know the rest.

I joined a "community group" at church and the first meeting was tonight. I wasn't sure what to expect because it's a group geared toward "Single Women." I have to say I'm very excited about being a part of it now. We'll be reading the book Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul and then discussing it.

Tonight the question was...."what makes you beautiful?" It will be interesting to hear each of these women's perspective on being a woman - based on their individual experiences and relationships. I left there feeling good about being a woman.

Life TTD List

Ok so I've already written 100 random things about me and I've already listed things that make me happy. But both of those things have to do with the 'now.' I'm ready to start looking forward to the future and since I work great off of lists.... I'll start with a few and will add of as I think of something that I really want to do in my lifetime.

Some of these things will take me awhile to accomplish and others I should be able to knock off the list fairly quickly. Let me know if you can help me get anything off of this list.

1. Play in the Pacific Ocean
2. Learn to ski properly
3. Visit the Grand Canyon
4. French kiss George Clooney (what?! )
5. See a broadway play
6. Take a missions trip and willingly give up one of my cookies (thank you for that analogy Pastor Konan)
7. Take an African Safari
8. Bungee jump
9. See my son graduate from college with his PhD (no pressure AJ)
10. Get a washboard stomach again
11. Go to France to see if the locals smile back at me when I smile at them
12. Try to make an English soldier who is guarding the Queen MOVE
13. Walk where Jesus walked
14. Go on a cruise
15. Get a tattoo
16. Go white water rafting
17. Walk on the Great Wall of China
18. See Journey or Van Halen in concert
19. Slide down a fireman pole (you know what I mean)
20. Publish a book

Midlife CRISIS?

You know - I've always heard about midlife crisis' and I think I may be having one. Although, I think the name is all wrong. I don't feel like it's a crisis at all. I feel like I'm becoming FREE.

Anyone who knows me, knows this has been yet another very difficult year for me. You know what? Who cares. Boo friggin hoo.

My daughter told me she didn't want a life like mine. It made me start thinking about what kind of life I have. I really don't. I got married at 18 and have spent almost every moment since then living for someone else. I think many women do this and it is admirable, but I have been living each day trying to make my children's future brighter. I am almost 40 now and really don't know who I am.

Someone asked me recently, "What do you like to do?" I have thought about that question since and have discovered.....I don't know! I don't know if I like to skydive. I might?! I don't know if I like to hike mountains (although I have a pretty good idea I wouldn't) but I DO NOT know! I don't know if I like California. I don't know if I think aliens help build the pyramids. I don't know if I'd be tall in Japan. I don't know what happens when you drink the water in Mexico. I don't know how long it would take me to be stoned in the Middle East.

I don't know.

I want to do things that help me determine who I am and what I like to do. I want to eat italian food in Italy. I want to see if chefs in Japan can get the egg in their hats quicker. I want to try to sink in the Dead Sea. I want to ride a mechanical bull (ok with a chiropractor nearby). I want to try to talk some sense into Osama Bin Laden or at the very least show him my legs.

I have spent my life settling. I only get one life, right? Who's with me?!!!

....back to work for now.

*wink*

Mommy Exhaustion

At age 24, I had a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a newborn. My days were filled with cooking, cleaning, breaking up fights, teaching, diapering and much more. I can remember cleaning my house at 2am when everyone was sleeping and then crashing from pure exhaustion. I remember how long it took to get everyone dressed and ready for a journey, even if we were just going to the grocery store. During this time, motherhood was exhausting but more PHYSICALLY than anything.

Today, my children are 20, 18 and one about to turn 15. It is a different kind of exhausting now. When they were young I would teach my children a hot stove would burn them, now there are things far more dangerous than the stove for me to worry about. I had a lot more control then. It was exhausting, yes, but nothing compared to the emotional exhaustion I have now. I worry so much about them and want so much for them to have a happy life.

I am so in love with my children. When does the exhaustion disappear?

Marketing works

Last night I was helping my daughter study for a test and Laissez Faire government came up. I had company so the room was full of adults and we were all trying to remember what it was. None of us could remember.

Later that night, someone said the words "I am stuck on bandaid brand" and all of us instinctively finished it saying "cuz bandaids stuck on me!"

Americans are raised on media and I thought it was hysterical that we couldn't remember what a form of government was (that all of us had been tested on many times) but could recite a marketing jargon that we hadn't heard in eons.

Typical Americans. ; )