My mind needs defragged.

I can't tell you how many times I get these calls:

"Christy, I need for you to come over as soon as possible. I can't do ANYTHING on my computer! It just freezes up and I want to throw it out the window!!"

I make my way to their office and sit down at their computer to see what the problem is... I sit in amazement that they waited until the computer was this slow and non-functional before asking for help. How can anyone work under these conditions? I start digging around and find a computer that has thousands of spyware programs running in the background taking up all the memory. Spyware runs hidden in the background STEALING all the resources of the computer. This is a slow process and takes some time. Little by little the computer gets slower and slower because the spyware is stealing all the computer's resources. My clients sit with me and wonder aloud how they got all these spyware thieves. I explain to them that when they wander through unreputable websites they put themselves in danger. When they click on random popup windows, they open themselves up for hidden spyware to take root. Initially, nothing seems wrong with the computer. The spyware, running hidden in the background, begins to multiply and slowly takes over. The user begins to notice the computer is slow and soon the computer just freezes.

Almost always, they have no firewall whatsoever. They are not protecting themselves from those who want to rob them of their resources. Viruses have infected nearly every file in their system and they've let it get so bad they are unable to get any work done whatsoever. They find themselves feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, and impatient everytime they sit down to work on their computer. The spyware and viruses have stolen their joy.

I've realized today this exactly the situation that is happening to me. That computer is my mind. Along the way, I've shut off my firewall and have picked up spyware and viruses by clicking on "pop-ups" that tricked me and they have undermined my crucial operating system. I've become frustrated, impatient, confused and angry that I can't get anything to work efficiently. Stress is always running hidden in the background and it has stolen my joy. It has manifested itself physically showing me there is a problem.

1) I grind my teeth so badly the dentist said I'll have to have a complete jaw replacement unless I chill and stop grinding. I have to wear a mouthpiece at night.
2) I have migraine headaches due to grinding.
3) My hormones have caused me so many problems (all due to stress) that I had to have surgery last year.
4) I have muscle spasms in my feet - caused directly by stress.
5) Sleep doesn't happen often.
6) My face breaks out like a teenager.
7) I have TMJ.
8) I have to use a heating pad on my neck nearly every night to relax the tense muscles in my neck and shoulders.

These are just SOME of the things that should've clued me in that my system needed help. Instead, I let these things run in the background of my mind and steal all my resources.

Stress = my mind not having victory. If I can capture my thoughts, I will successfully defrag my mind. My thoughts directly impact my attitude and my mood....my stress level.

This analogy is so powerful to me and I'm working on a full defrag. It will take time because nearly every file has been corrupted, but little by little I'm regaining my resources - my joy.

Dude - that's deep.