I'm letting go.

Over the past ten years, my life has been extremely stressful. This stress has weighed so heavily on me at times that I can physically feel the weight on my shoulders and neck...as if I'm carrying cement bags around. This stress has manifested in many physical ailments over this time.

On November 5, I walked into a church near my daughter's school. I had noticed their sign over the summer and felt drawn to go to the opening service. That morning, everything changed for me. Starting with that morning and continuing to this moment, God has used the people in that church as a mouthpiece to speak to me.

On the bad days, I've prayed. However, I've only just realized I've been praying to God dictating to Him how He is to fix this situation. I'm trying to pray in more of an "open" fashion allowing God to control how problems are resolved. Can you imagine how much my stress level will decrease if only I can do this?

I thought I had 2007 all figured out. I could feel God's presence. Starting from Jan1, NOTHING has gone like I anticipated. The rug was pulled out from under me and my "plan." Now I must trust that He knows better than I and R-E-L-A-X.

I feel I'm being pruned. The gardener saw past my overgrown state and saw the beauty that could be. It's not a comfortable place to be, but I'm looking forward to the peace that will come if I can let go.